Mat's Fish (Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter) Spread, aka "Stalkers' Fish Bone 'Crack' Spread"

Mat writes:

"Here's one of my all time favorites... a great app/starter, perfect for game day, or any day and simply a classic staple in the south.... Smoked Fish Spread! 

Ingredients  (You can substitute if you must, but try to seek out these ingredients for best results....)

6-8 ounces smoked fish*
8 ounces Philadelphia cream cheese
1/3 cup Dukes mayo (more or less, depending on how wet you want your spread)
Zest and Juice of one Myer Lemon.
2 Tablespoons of your favorite hot sauce ( I like Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce or Daves Insanity Hot Sauce)
1 Jalapeno minced
6-8 Green onions minced
kosher salt and cracked black pepper to taste

*I like to use Mullet, King Fish, Spanish Mackeral, or Trout. If your local fish market doesn't have these fish, try using whiting, basa, pollock, or tilapia (ALTHOUGH FOR BEST RESULTS USE ONE OF THE FIRST FOUR FISH I MENTIONED). If you need to clean your fish, remove heads, gut them out [editor's note: if you use fish from Boise, Idaho, you can ignore this step; things from Boise have no guts], and butterfly them open, then rub them down with Everglades Heat**, an all purpose rub with a little kick to it. Smoke the fish at 250 degrees for about an hour and half or until the meat starts to separate from the bones. I smoke my fish with citrus wood, but any hard wood will do.
[**editor's note: Mat, leave us comment telling us what "Everglades Heat" is. As far as I know, it's the special forces unit that runs more or less constant stings on University of Miami boosters.]

Steps:

1. Remove skin and bones from smoked fish and flake with a fork.
2. Combine fish, and the rest of the ingredients into a large mixing bowl.
3. Mix thoroughly.
4. Chill at least 1 hour before serving. Overnight chilling improves flavor.
5. Serve with wheat thin crackers, or saltines.
6. Garnish with hot sauce (optional)

I call this "Stalkers Fish Bone Spread" even though it shouldn't have bones in it. Guys at work call it "Crack Spread" I can't really come up with a funny name for it... [editor's note: Mat doesn't think "Crack Spread" is funny enough????!!]" 

Mat's Angry Scallop Ceviche

Mat writes:

"....one of my favorite ways to have fresh Scallops... Scallop Ceviche!  This is a recipe that I have been working on for the past five years and every year or so I add something different.  Last year, with the help of some good friends, scallopers and chefs alike, I think we nailed this one!

This recipe will serve 8 people at 2 ounces per person (or two really hungry people)

16 ounces fresh Bay Scallops (cleaned, rinsed)
2 teaspoons fresh Chives, minced
2 teaspoons fresh Cilantro, minced
1 Habanero Pepper, seeded and minced
1/2 Red Onion, minced
Juice of 5 limes ( if you like key limes, use 10 as they are smaller)
Juice of 5 Myer Lemons
Juice of 1 Orange (or Tangerine)
1 teaspoon Kosher Salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh cracked Black Pepper

In a large glass bowl, combine all ingredients, and place in the back of your fridge, uncovered for 2-3 hours. This will allow the flavors to come out, and also allow the scallops to "cook" or "cure" in the citrus bath you gave them.

There are two ways I like to serve this dish.

1. If you catch your own Scallops, and you're serving 8 people, save and clean 8 scallop shells. Ladle 2 ounces of ceviche into each shell and garnish with a sprig or two of cilantro. This is ideal for back yard bbqs, or game day with the guys (casual).

2. Ladle 2 ounces of the ceviche into a clean/clear martini glass. I like to use 4 inch or 5 inch tooth pick frills to garnish by putting one or two scallops onto the tooth pick and placing it over the martini glass. It will look like a edible cocktail. This is a good one for private dinner parties and date night with the ladies.

Chef/Fisherman Notes:

Although freshly caught Bay Scallops are a thousand times better then previously frozen (store bought) scallops, I understand that not everyone wants to catch their dinner and/or has the luxury or time of doing so. No matter how you come about your scallops there are two things you must do before consuming them.

1. All "REAL" Scallops have what's called a "Boot" attached to them. This boot is the same color as the scallop but is more like cartilage. It connects the scallop to it's shell. When you're buying scallops, if they don't have a "boot", don't buy them, period! Having said that, you must remove the boot off every scallop, by gently pulling it away from the scallop... you will thank yourself later! Also avoid buying scallops that are dis-colored, have an odor



 and/or feel and look slimy
  
 .

2. After your scallops are boot free, place them in a fine mesh strainer, and give them a good thorough rinse under cold running water. leave them in the strainer, in your sink to drain, while you prep the rest of your ingredients for this dish.

Some people are put off by ceviche, because they think they are going to eat raw scallops and/or seafood... but that's not true at all.

I don't really have a name for this one... my wife calls it "Angry Scallop Ceviche"... because the scallops are angry that I caught them, and because I use habaneros.

Let me know what you think.

Prov's Magician and V-Sport-inspired "What-a-Flamer" Cherry Bomb Stuffed Peppers

Here is a recipe that is easy, spicy, and tasty.  Need lots of cold beer to wash them down with.  I like some crusty bread on the side to cut the heat and also soak up the juice and oil.  You can serve them as a side to sub sandwiches or as part of an antipasto.


Ingredients

• 12 whole fresh or pickled cherry bomb peppers (I prefer the pickled ones; if you use fresh peppers, then once you are finished making these, you ought to let the whole jar sit a day or so in the oil and vinegar before serving.)
• 6 oz sharp provolone(you can use other stinky Italian cheese, if you prefer)
• 6 oz prosciutto, thinly slice (I wonder if you could use country ham?  I bet it'd be good, too, and easier for you Southerners to find)
• 2 medium to large cloves of garlic
• 1 teaspoon salt (omit if you are using pickled peppers)
• Dash or two oregano, thyme, and black pepper
• 2 Tablespoons Red Wine Vinegar (omit if you are using pickled peppers)
• Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Directions

If you are using fresh peppers, wash them.  Cut off the tops and scoop out the insides.  As you probably know, the insides are hot (spicy/chemical "hot", not temperature "hot" or physically attractive "hot.")

Cut the provolone into rectangular chunks that are the length of the width of your prosciutto.  You want the chunk of cheese to be wide enough, though, to fill the mouth of the cherry bomb.  

Wrap each rectangle of cheese with a slice of prosciutto. Cut the prosciutto/cheese missle in a length that will fill the cherry bomb.  If you don't care about aesthetics, stuff cheese crumbs and prosciutto into the spaces.  

At this point, you can either put into a jar or some container, or if you are serving, then onto a plate. 

If into a jar, then put to two cloves of garlic in, whole.  Add the shakes of oregano, thyme, and pepper.   Then cover with either some of the juice from the pickled peppers jar, or if not the red wine vinegar. Cover the rest of the way with oil (probably less than a one-half cup.)   

If you serve right then, drizzle with olive oil.  Then sprinkle with some minced garlic, along with the oregano, thyme and black pepper.

Done.....

Magician's "I Can Make Your Stomach Lining Disappear" Habanero, Orange, and Tomatillo Salsa

Ingredients

1 lb. Tomatillos

5-6 Large ripe habanero peppers (or fewer if your taste buds are delicate)

2 Oranges
5-6 Green onions
Salt
Lime juice

Dice (about ¼" to ⅜") half the tomatillos. Halve the remaining tomatillos and put them under a broiler, skin side up, along with the peppers, until the skins are charred (about 5 minutes).

Put the charred tomatillos and peppers in a blender and puree until smooth; add the puree to the diced tomatillos.

Add the juice of one orange to the tomatillo mixture.

Peel the second orange, removing as much of the pith as possible. Separate the segments and dice them (about ¼"-⅜"); add the orange to the tomatillo mixture.

Thinly slice the green onions and add to the tomatillo mixture.

Add salt and lime juice to taste. Mix well, refrigerate, and enjoy.

This is especially good as a garnish to chili or black bean soup.

Prov's "Genuine, This Is Really It, I've Made It And It Will Knock You On Your Patriotic Tail" George Washington's Eggnog

I found this recipe in a Southern type living magazine, probably 20 years ago.  It has a load of alcohol in it, but does not taste like it, at least not strongly.  The dairy smooths it all out and it is better in two days than it is the first, but still good on Day One.  I have made a lower calorie version without noticeable taste difference; it's just less thick and rich.  I do not cut the alcohol.  I just substitue half and half for the cream and 1 or 2 % milk for the whole milk. 

Ingredients:

• 1 pint brandy
• 1/2 pint rye whiskey
• 1/2 pint jamaican rum
• 1/4 pint sherry wine
• 12 eggs, separated
• 12 tablespoons sugar
• 1 quart milk
• 1 quart heavy cream

MIX LIQUOR FIRST.

Separate yolks and whites of the eggs.  If you worry about salmonella and all that, you can find pasteurized eggs. 

Add sugar to beaten yolks and mix well.

Add combined liquors to the yolk and sugar mixture, drop by drop at first, slowly beating it all the while.

Beat the egg whites until stiff and gently fold these into the egg/liquor mixture.

Add the milk and then the cream, always beating slowly.

Let this sit in the refrigerator for several days.

Taste frequently.

Irish Assassin's "Acquired Taste" Carolina Red BBQ Sauce

Carolina Red (for pulled pork)

[Editor's note: oops!

This is a traditional Carolina red sauce. That means vinegar. It is not for everyone. If you are serious about learning BBQ and its history, this recipe is a must.  For those of us from anywhere other than the southeast, this might be an acquired taste.  This is the basic recipe, you may have to tweek it to your liking.

11/2 cups apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup ketchup
1 tablespoon packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon dried crushed red pepper (cayenne works well too)

Stir all ingredients until sugar and salt dissolve. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Irish Assassin's "Gameday Bean Dip" aka Irish's Bean Dip

Simple, and the ingredients will surprise you, but this is excellent.  Trust me.....


1 lb ground beef -- cooked
1-15 oz can red beans -- mashed with liquid
1/2 cup chopped onion
1/2 package dry taco seasoning mix
1 cup ketchup 

All you have to is cook the meat, chop the onion, and mash the beans..(a potato masher works best, and a paste consistency is what you are aiming for).

Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker, mix throughly, and set on low for 1 1/2 to 2 hrs, mixing every 2 timeouts.

Serve with tortilla chips and ice cold beer.

I usually put half a habanero in my mix, and jalapenos work well too.

Seriously, consider doubling this recipe, it will go fast.